Don’t do the “Clue” reboot for straight people

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Newly anointed Emmy winner Jason Bateman is wasting no time.

After snatching the price of staging from Game Of Thrones Sunday for running Netflix Ozark, the Development stopped an alum reportedly “in talks” to adapt a remake of the 1985 cult classic Index, itself adapted from Hasbro’s board game of the same name. Ryan Reynolds has long been attached to the project, and according to Deadline, the dead Pool Star will co-write the film with Bateman.

If the deal is finalized, it would mark the third time for Bateman in the director’s chair as a filmmaker. He previously led the independent efforts Big words and The family croc, the latter in which Bateman starred alongside Nicole Kidman.

Given that the project has been in production for a long time – with Hasbro’s notoriously troubled attempt to bring Monopoly to the big screen – there is no report on who might play Colonel Mustard or Professor Plum or whether the mysterious killer will have. always the options of a key monkey and lead pipe. (If they want to do it especially 2019, it is enough to rid the murderer of his victims with suffocating student loan debt.)

But as the project develops, we have a plea for Bateman and Reynolds: Index strange.

While the 1985 film isn’t explicitly gay – for the most part – it has an explicit camp sensibility, mixing farce and wacky comedy in the story of six conspicuous strangers who claim to be dead. Frank-N-Furter himself, Tim Curry, goes full Cary Grant in Arsenic and old lace like Wadsworth, while queer icon Madeline Kahn gave drag queens around the world evergreen Halloween inspiration as gothic goddess Mrs. White. GIFs, as they say, are legendary.

In truth, Index Has camped in good faith for days, which is why it has been a favorite of the gay public for three decades. It also features Victor / Victoria‘s Lesley Ann Warren as the alluring Miss Scarlett and Jane Wieldin from The Go-Go’s in a cameo appearance as the Doomed Sung Telegram Girl.

If that wasn’t enough for you, the actress who plays the busty maid Yvette is literally named Colleen Camp. The power is undeniable!

As with many beloved treasures from earlier eras, however, there are certain aspects of Index it could be improved. Michael McKean – As awesome as half the Shih Tzu loving gay couple in Best of Show – plays Mr. Green, a locked-in State Department employee who is blackmailed because of his sexual orientation. While this is a historically accurate description of the persecution suffered by many gay government employees in the 1950s, other characters often treat Mr. Green with derision and disgust.

Additionally, it is revealed during Ending C that Mr. Green was not gay at all. He was just an FBI secret agent. “I’m going to come home and sleep with my wife,” Green said after bringing the culprits to justice, a signing that hasn’t held up so well since the film’s release.

Overall there is so much to love Index, and queer audiences deserve a remake that keeps everything they think about the original (“Flames on the side of my face!”) and ditch the less tasty aspects. But whatever Bateman and Reynolds do with the material, please – for Madeline Kahn’s sake – don’t. Index law. It’s an ending nobody wants.

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